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When to Give Someone Critical Feedback

When it comes to giving feedback , I think that most of us are very afraid. We are afraid that the person to whom we are giving the feedback might not take it in the right way and could lead to a conflict. Sometimes, we feel that giving feedback to this person about their behavior is futile , because this person does not have the capability to understand it and hence it is useless.Sometimes we are lazy and just don’t take the time and effort to give a person feedback on their behavior. This could apply in many situations in your personal and professional life. Whether you are a parent dealing with a teenager or a boss dealing with an employee, or a teacher dealing with a student. The principles that are mentioned here can be applied to all walks of life. Listed below are the steps that you can follow to determine in a compassionate way if a certain person deserves your feedback or not.   Step 1 : All compassionate communication starts with examination. The first step ...
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Most Annoying Things a Salesperson Says

The B2B buying process has increased in it's complexity. All buyers now have access to information that they did not have previously , thanks to the internet. This has led to a change in the relationship between Sales people and buyers as well. The interaction between buyers and suppliers has reduced now to a mere 17% of the time involved in the total buying process. Out of this buyers spend only 5% or 6% of the time with individual sales reps. This means that it has become even more crucial for sales people to say the right things to close deals. The cliche of the pushy sales rep aside , there is a tendency for buyers to find certain things that sales rep say annoying , as they struggle with complex buying processes , information overload and stress from other colleagues that are also involved in the buying process. Below is a list of things that sales people say that annoy buyers the most : Badmouthing Competition, to make their own product look good Most buyers today...

Communication and Relationships- Symmetrical and Complementary Interactions of Watzlawick

 One of the reasons we communicate is to establish relationships with other people. As part of the communication process we also try to manipulate ( persuade ) the external environment , to meet our needs. As in a sales process , we try to convince a customer to buy our product. It is often said , that  good communication is at the heart of good relationships. This includes good listening - which prevents us from misunderstanding what the other person is saying ,which can lead to conflict and hence poor relationships. It includes speaking clearly and in the tone and vocabulary , that is acceptable to the conversation partner. It includes , being present to what the person is feeling and needing at the moment , so that we understand how to communicate with them , so that we can meet their need. We create meaning , through the messages we receive in the interaction with others. If , we suffer from poor self image , then the meaning we create will match the poor self-image we...

The Power and Pitfalls of Denial

Denial. The internal refutation of bad news that we do not want to acknowledge because the truth is painful. We all use it at times to protect us from news and information about the world that we are not yet ready to handle. Sometimes we do not have the resources we need to deal with bad news. This inability leads us to denial. Contrary to common belief , denial can be a positive thing , a survival tool for people who are facing such tragedy that , if they did not have this tool of denial at their disposal they would not be able to survive. Victims of narcissistic abuse at the hands of close family members who have no options and cannot leave often use denial to survive in such inhumane conditions. This might seem strange to many people, how can denial , the very refuting of life and truth , ever be positive and useful? This sentiment is often expressed by people who have not been through the torment of severe and evil abuse on a daily basis. The Internet abounds with articles o...

Busting Myths About Compassion- What Compassion really Is

Compassion is as essential to our life as human beings as breathing . If it were not for the compassion we have for each other we would not have been able to maintain relationships or function as a society. However , in today's hyper competitive and hyper connected world, compassion has taken on negative connotations for many people. Some people feel if they let themselves be compassionate then they will lose out in a world , where everyone is only looking out for themselves. The research on compassion , however shows us otherwise. Some people also misconstrue self -compassion as selfishness, something that only self-indulgent people do. The research on self compassion is also very clear. Without exercising compassion for one self , it is practically impossible to exercise compassion for others. When I queried different people, this is what compassion means to them : First , let us look at what the research says about compassion , so we are on the same page, about the defin...

Non-Violent Communication - A Brief Introduction

What is Non-Violent Communication ? This is a process of communication that was devised by Marshall Rosenberg. Inspired by Gandhi's message of non-violence he wanted to help people communicate in a manner that helps them to reduce conflict and live a life where their needs are met. In order to understand this process ,let us clarify what the meaning of the term  non-violence. What is Non-Violence? Non-Violence or Ahimsa was first sketched out by the ancient Indian sage , in his epic "Yogasutras". These are the wellspring of all that we know about Yoga today in the modern world. When Indian sages taught in the ancient times , instructions regarding behavior were divided into two parts. First, those actions that one must undertake (Niyamas) , and those that one must avoid ( Yamas). Ahimsa is the premier Yama. Like all ancient languages , such words are hard to translate, as inevitably, the deeper meaning of these words are lost due to cultural and spiritual differ...

What Makes For Great Communication

We can communicate today at record speed with each other. We can video call, text, chat , email , call ..the plethora of communication mediums are endless. However, the question remains , as it has , for time immemorial  : What makes for great communication ? In order to answer this question , we first need to understand what communication entails. When we ask people what communication means to them , we often hear answers like these : Communication serves a very integral purpose in our lives. It helps us to share our feelings and give meaning to shared experiences. Through art forms like poetry and music  , communication helps us to express our innermost feelings. Communication fulfills a very deep need to share our lives , to connect to others and form shared values. However  , when things go wrong , poor communication can also lead to conflict and misunderstandings. We all know how important communication is - since it plays such an integral purpose in our l...